Worry.........

After the loss of a little one, after experiencing such great sorrow and loss, how can we not help but worry. We worry about the future and the unknown that the future brings. How easy it is to experience something as little as a headache and before we know it we are worrying that maybe it is a symptom of something bigger and life threatening. 

Today I want to share with you a post written by Kara Chupp. Kara blogs as The Chuppies and also shares at The Better Mom. Kara has walked the path of loss that so many of you have experienced. Back in 2008 she and her husband lost their beautiful daughter Selah Noelle who was only 4 months old, to the disease Pompe. Kara knows the worry that loss can bring. She shares...

"Worry is never over.

It’s a constant struggle.
But when I start to sink into a swirling pit of fear,
I want to face and fight the battle–
With Him and through Him.

 …for God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control. ~2 Timothy 1:7"


Please take the time to read Kara's post "Worry- I Wish I Wasn't So Good At It" over at The Better Mom. I pray that you will be as blessed as I was to hear how Kara keeps her mind and heart on what is true as she encounters fear and worry. 

Verses that Comfort

Over the last few months, Chris and I have had the privilege of speaking at two different hospital sponsored memorial services remembering babies that have been lost while still in the womb or shortly after birth. Here is a summary of what we shared at those services...

I started and shared about Mason's short but precious life (you can read more here or listen here). My husband then went on to share the following... 

Having our son die on Father’s Day is by far the most heart-wrenching thing we’ve ever gone through. And yet in the midst of our sorrow and sadness we did have and experience the hope, peace and comfort that is found in God. Both Anna and I love, serve and follow Jesus and we have found forgiveness of sins and life in Jesus, through His perfect life, death on the cross, and then resurrection from the dead.

His grace & love sustained us through our sorrow and we never doubted that He was in control of our situation and Mason’s life. We firmly believe, based on what the Bible says, that Mason, along with every infant and young child that has ever passed on from this life, is in heaven safe with God.  And we believe that one day we will see Mason again made whole and complete.

This morning we wanted to share with you some of our favorite Bible verses that gave us comfort and peace during our time of sorrow.

God said to a man named Jeremiah...

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you…”  Jeremiah 1:5a 

God knows us all and loves us all long before we’re ever born.

A man named David wrote...

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed from me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! Psalm 139:13-17.

God Himself is the Creator and the Author of life. Therefore, all life…even a very short life…is a precious life and a gift from God.

In Mark chapter 10 we’re told about how one day some people were bringing their little children, their infants and babies to see and visit Jesus. The account reads like this… 

"And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them 'Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.' And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them."  Mark 10:13-16

Jesus was indignant, Jesus was angry, that His disciples would try and prevent these little children from coming to Him. Jesus had a very special care and concern and love for these infants and little ones. Why is this? Why does Jesus love and care for these little ones? Throughout the Bible, we see the truth re-told again and again that God delights to save and use and love the weak and the helpless…and there is none so weak and helpless and innocent and precious as an infant...as a little child.

So what happens to little ones who die? Where are they? I believe that Jesus has already told us when He said….

“Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.”

There’s a man in the Bible named David. He was king over Israel and, like many of us, he had a son who only lived a few short days and then died. After his son’s death, David said something very profound and significant. He said....

"While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead. Why should I fast? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.”  2 Samuel 12:22-23

David was comforted/confident in the fact that he would again see his son and go to be with his son.

As you well know, this world, this life, can be filled with trouble and sorrow and pain and death. That’s a fact. That’s reality. Is there any hope? Is there any comfort?

Listen to what Jesus said in: Matthew 11:28-29 

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

A Video From "Grace To You"

We hope that this video from "Grace To You" will be a help and encouragement to you! The couple featured in this video beautifully shows their hope and strength in the Lord even in the midst of great tragedy and loss. We pray that it will be a blessing to you.

Exciting New Opportunities!!!

This month at “4 Days to Eternity” Anna and I wanted to write telling you about some exciting new opportunities that the Lord has brought our way!

            A few months ago Anna and I were invited to speak at a “bereavement conference” put on by various hospitals in the Indianapolis area. In attendance were nurses who wanted to learn how to better help their patients who have lost babies. We shared our story with them hoping it would help them better learn how to care for parents who lose little ones. In the course of speaking with them we were able to talk freely and openly about the hope, joy and peace to be found in Christ and we were able to tell them about our outreach “4 Days to Eternity”.

            After the conference we stuck around to speak one on one with the nurses and, in the course of conversation, made contact with three new hospitals in the Indianapolis area! They have all graciously agreed to give away copies of “Safe In the Arms of God” to couples and families who lose little ones. This brings our total number of hospitals we are working with up to six! We are also currently supplying books to two funeral homes as well.

            In addition to the new hospitals we will be donating books too, the Lord has given us another speaking engagement with St. Vincent Women’s Hospital, the hospital were Mason was cared for. We have been invited to speak Saturday morning, August 20^th, to a group of parents who have recently lost babies. We will share our story with these parents, talk about Christ and His mercy and grace, and offer a free copy of “Safe In the Arms of God” to any in attendance.

            As difficult as it is to re-live and re-tell the story of Mason’s brief life and death, we are thankful for the opportunity to speak of Christ and of His glory and goodness. Please continue to pray that God would open opportunities to share the Gospel and the hope of eternal life.

A Prayer of Trust

This beautiful pray is found in "Safe In The Arms of God". It has been a wonderful blessing to me over the last year as it reminds me to fully rest in the Lord's perfect plan and to keep my eyes on Him as we walk the road He's prepared for us. I have this prayer written in my prayer journal where I can easily find it when needed.

"Lord, help me to express the joy that is befitting a Christian. Help me to trust You with the timetable of my life and the lives of all those I love. Help me to have a more eternal perspective on what happens to me and to those I love. Help me to learn and to discover what it is that You want me to know. Give me your wisdom. Help me to submit myself to Your will and to do so completely, in every area of my life. Help me to trust You that You know what is best for me. You desire to bring about what is best for my life, and You are at work causing all things to come together for my eternal good and the eternal good of all those I love. I pray this with faith, Lord. I look for the answers You will give as I pray in Jesus' name, Amen" 

Safe In The Arms of God pg. 149

It is our prayer that this prayer will be a blessing to you as you seek to mend your broken heart and let go of the "why" questions so you can go on fully trusting the Lord and His plan for you and your family members' lives.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

It Was Not Wicked for the Lord to Take Our Son

On March 31, my husband, Ernie, and I walked into labor and delivery. I was 33 weeks pregnant, and we had come to monitor our son’s movement. We had little concern, thinking we’d be leaving within an hour or two. Perhaps I just needed to drink more fluids or get more rest. Not all babies are super active; maybe he was just so big that there wasn’t much room. These were several of my thoughts as I was just waiting. But after six or seven doctors and nurses looked over the sonogram of our son, they quickly decided they needed to do an emergency cesarean because they weren’t sure why he wasn’t responding. Our emotions could not keep up with the events. I found myself changing into in a hospital gown, wheeling around for a spinal shot. I was instantly numb and entering the first surgery of my life, completely unprepared. Haddon Brooks Blanco arrived within about 20 minutes, 6 weeks early. Through a lot of tears, confusion, and fear, Ernie and I still looked at each other with joy that our son was here, not knowing that we had entered into the darkest weekend of our lives.

Haddon struggled through severe anemia and a virus, and his sweet daddy visited him nearly every hour, loving his little son who looked almost identical to him. For 40 hours we were with him, hearing a roller coaster of good news and bad news. On April 2, the Lord took our sweet boy to be with him. Just before he passed, we were able to sing to him. Ernie sang “It Is Well” and I hummed “A Mighty Fortress” the best I could. I held him for the first time, telling him we’d see him soon. I passed him to Ernie, and when the time came to take all the machines off, Ernie quoted Numbers 6:24-26 as the last words Haddon could hear:

The LORD bless you, and keep you;
The LORD make his face shine on you,
And be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up his countenance on you,
And give you peace.

As our plans as parents have been thrown into confusion and sadness, we are faced with the question of what happens next. I long each morning to wake up to a crying baby to console in my arms. Ernie longs to come home from a long day of work to play with his son, and each time we walk to the garage we have to pass an empty nursery painted in blue. Through each seemingly impossible fear that rushes to our minds, the Lord has calmed us with several great truths about himself and our circumstance.

The Lord Does Not Delight in Wickedness

It was not wicked for the Lord to take our son. The Lord does not delight in wickedness or evil, his Word tells us in Psalm 5:4. His Word in Psalm 89:14 tells us that his throne is actually built on a foundation of righteousness and justice. I think this is how we can grieve well, when we long to take care and hold our son, to remember God’s foundation of righteousness in all that he does as we grieve in a world of sin and death. Somehow, in the death of our son, God will show us a greater picture of his goodness. Somehow, for our good, this is going to make us look more like his Son, Jesus.

God Is Still on Plan A

Ernie has reminded me that God is still on plan A in his plan of redemption. When Haddon died, God was not surprised or needed to start a plan B because something went wrong. 1 and 2 Peter reminded me that all the trials and suffering I will face here will result in praise and glory in the great day of Jesus Christ when he returns again. Haddon’s death has been part of God’s plan from eternity past; nothing is out of his control.

Haddon Is Now Looking Upon the Face of Mercy

There is a sweetness and gentleness of God that I’ve felt in my pain as I cry out to him, as I sit in Haddon’s nursery, and as I read my Bible. The same sweet, gentle, and kind God is the same God who took my boy to safety. He is in a place where he can see the love of God and hear the gospel of Jesus purely without the distractions of a sinful world. When you watch your son breathe his last, you have an overwhelming sense of not being able to control anything. But I don’t have to worry as his mother about his moment of passing from death to life, because he was instantly and safely ushered into the presence of Christ. Haddon was able to look upon the face of mercy and be sick no more.

Haddon Will Rise Again

This same gentle God got us through his burial with an amazing peace. I dreaded seeing his tiny casket, but when the time came the Holy Spirit quickly reminded me he is not there, but only his body, which he suffers in no longer. He reminded me that, just as Jesus rose from the grave, so too will Haddon rise again. The weight of that peace was unlike any peace I’ve experienced in my entire life. I looked around at all the baby graves, which were many, imagining all these babies one day rising to glory. I love hearing myself say it,Haddon will rise again. It’s our hope for our little boy.

Our Eternal Joy Is Yet to Come

My aching heart is learning to believe that being a mother is not my ultimate happiness. I understand, in a way I never did before, that this world is not a place where we will feel eternal joy. When the people of God finally stand before Christ, who took the punishment for their sin, they will feel the fulfilling, eternal joy that they long to feel here on earth. God has not promised those who belong to him a quick and easy road to heaven, but he does get us there, he promises. Until then, he’s assured us he is “near the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

My Greatest Need Is Taken Care Of

Through many tears and days of great sadness, we want people to know that the only reason we feel comfort in our grief is because Jesus has taken the punishment of our sin, has been raised from the dead, and has crushed death. For the Christian, death is not the end. The Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes even calls death “greater than our day of birth” (Ecc. 7:1). For those who do not lean upon Jesus Christ as the great Savior from sin, death is the great entrance to eternal punishment, and their life now is the best they will ever have, because eternity after will be torment. I pray you would know this good news today and trust in Christ, the great conquerer of death.

Lisa Blanco lives in Tucson, Arizona with her husband, Ernie, who is a Bible Teacher at Pusch Ridge Christian Achademy. Lisa enjoys writing in her free time.