January 15, 2011


In the weeks after Mason's birth I struggled with how to love and remember my son who I would not get to care for. In the four days (outside the womb) that he was a part of my life he consumed all that we did and thought. In the weeks after his death, periods of time would go by and I would realize that I had not thought about him. This scared me. I did not want to forget my precious baby but I knew that I could not love and care for him everyday like I did my girls. Loving my girls was familiar to me and I knew how to love them; they consume so much of every day. How do I hold on to Mason's precious memory and still continue on with the life that the Lord has blessed me with?

I came to realize that even though I cannot care for him every day, as I do my girls, I could remember him in small ways. I want to share some of the ways that we remember Mason and the blessings he brought into our lives.

The first way that we remember his precious life is through a photo album we made. This album holds the pictures we took in the four days he was with us and pictures and cards that were made for him during his stay in the hospital. We also have put in this album the verses and songs that we sang at his memorial. There is not a month that has gone by that this album has not been looked at and read multiple times. Most of the time it is one of our girls who pulls it down and looks through the pictures and sometimes asks for us to read it to them. It is our prayer that this little album will help our girls remember their little brother, remind them that he is safe in heaven, and draw them closer to our Lord.

The next way that I remember my precious son is through two gifts that were given to me. The first one was given to me by my parents. I have a necklace that has each of my girls' names on it. My parents had a charm made up with Mason's name and it hangs alongside my girls names. I love wearing this necklace. The second gift was a pair of earrings that were given to me by a dear friend. The earrings were made using Mason's birth stones. I love wearing them!

Every year we purchase our girls a Christmas ornament and this Christmas we also purchased Mason an ornament. We love decorating our tree each year as a family. The girls enjoy rediscovering all their ornaments and talking over the memories that accompany each ornament. It is only fitting that we have an ornament that holds the memory of our precious son.

We also have a box filled with all of Mason's things like gifts given to him and all his things from the hospital. We have not come to his birthday yet, but it is our plan to read through his photo album, look at all the pictures, and look through his things on each of his birthdays. Madisen has also asked to make a cake so I think we might be enjoying some cake at the same time.

In the week following Mason's death, Chris and I talked about setting money aside each month to do something in his name. We did not know what to do but trusted that the Lord would bring opportunities our way to give too. We have been so blessed by the opportunity he has brought us through donating books to hospitals and funeral homes and through this blog. We have been so blessed by the generous support of others who have given to see that this book is given to more hospitals and funeral homes.