A Video From "Grace To You"

We hope that this video from "Grace To You" will be a help and encouragement to you! The couple featured in this video beautifully shows their hope and strength in the Lord even in the midst of great tragedy and loss. We pray that it will be a blessing to you.

Exciting New Opportunities!!!

This month at “4 Days to Eternity” Anna and I wanted to write telling you about some exciting new opportunities that the Lord has brought our way!

            A few months ago Anna and I were invited to speak at a “bereavement conference” put on by various hospitals in the Indianapolis area. In attendance were nurses who wanted to learn how to better help their patients who have lost babies. We shared our story with them hoping it would help them better learn how to care for parents who lose little ones. In the course of speaking with them we were able to talk freely and openly about the hope, joy and peace to be found in Christ and we were able to tell them about our outreach “4 Days to Eternity”.

            After the conference we stuck around to speak one on one with the nurses and, in the course of conversation, made contact with three new hospitals in the Indianapolis area! They have all graciously agreed to give away copies of “Safe In the Arms of God” to couples and families who lose little ones. This brings our total number of hospitals we are working with up to six! We are also currently supplying books to two funeral homes as well.

            In addition to the new hospitals we will be donating books too, the Lord has given us another speaking engagement with St. Vincent Women’s Hospital, the hospital were Mason was cared for. We have been invited to speak Saturday morning, August 20^th, to a group of parents who have recently lost babies. We will share our story with these parents, talk about Christ and His mercy and grace, and offer a free copy of “Safe In the Arms of God” to any in attendance.

            As difficult as it is to re-live and re-tell the story of Mason’s brief life and death, we are thankful for the opportunity to speak of Christ and of His glory and goodness. Please continue to pray that God would open opportunities to share the Gospel and the hope of eternal life.

A Prayer of Trust

This beautiful pray is found in "Safe In The Arms of God". It has been a wonderful blessing to me over the last year as it reminds me to fully rest in the Lord's perfect plan and to keep my eyes on Him as we walk the road He's prepared for us. I have this prayer written in my prayer journal where I can easily find it when needed.

"Lord, help me to express the joy that is befitting a Christian. Help me to trust You with the timetable of my life and the lives of all those I love. Help me to have a more eternal perspective on what happens to me and to those I love. Help me to learn and to discover what it is that You want me to know. Give me your wisdom. Help me to submit myself to Your will and to do so completely, in every area of my life. Help me to trust You that You know what is best for me. You desire to bring about what is best for my life, and You are at work causing all things to come together for my eternal good and the eternal good of all those I love. I pray this with faith, Lord. I look for the answers You will give as I pray in Jesus' name, Amen" 

Safe In The Arms of God pg. 149

It is our prayer that this prayer will be a blessing to you as you seek to mend your broken heart and let go of the "why" questions so you can go on fully trusting the Lord and His plan for you and your family members' lives.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

It Was Not Wicked for the Lord to Take Our Son

On March 31, my husband, Ernie, and I walked into labor and delivery. I was 33 weeks pregnant, and we had come to monitor our son’s movement. We had little concern, thinking we’d be leaving within an hour or two. Perhaps I just needed to drink more fluids or get more rest. Not all babies are super active; maybe he was just so big that there wasn’t much room. These were several of my thoughts as I was just waiting. But after six or seven doctors and nurses looked over the sonogram of our son, they quickly decided they needed to do an emergency cesarean because they weren’t sure why he wasn’t responding. Our emotions could not keep up with the events. I found myself changing into in a hospital gown, wheeling around for a spinal shot. I was instantly numb and entering the first surgery of my life, completely unprepared. Haddon Brooks Blanco arrived within about 20 minutes, 6 weeks early. Through a lot of tears, confusion, and fear, Ernie and I still looked at each other with joy that our son was here, not knowing that we had entered into the darkest weekend of our lives.

Haddon struggled through severe anemia and a virus, and his sweet daddy visited him nearly every hour, loving his little son who looked almost identical to him. For 40 hours we were with him, hearing a roller coaster of good news and bad news. On April 2, the Lord took our sweet boy to be with him. Just before he passed, we were able to sing to him. Ernie sang “It Is Well” and I hummed “A Mighty Fortress” the best I could. I held him for the first time, telling him we’d see him soon. I passed him to Ernie, and when the time came to take all the machines off, Ernie quoted Numbers 6:24-26 as the last words Haddon could hear:

The LORD bless you, and keep you;
The LORD make his face shine on you,
And be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up his countenance on you,
And give you peace.

As our plans as parents have been thrown into confusion and sadness, we are faced with the question of what happens next. I long each morning to wake up to a crying baby to console in my arms. Ernie longs to come home from a long day of work to play with his son, and each time we walk to the garage we have to pass an empty nursery painted in blue. Through each seemingly impossible fear that rushes to our minds, the Lord has calmed us with several great truths about himself and our circumstance.

The Lord Does Not Delight in Wickedness

It was not wicked for the Lord to take our son. The Lord does not delight in wickedness or evil, his Word tells us in Psalm 5:4. His Word in Psalm 89:14 tells us that his throne is actually built on a foundation of righteousness and justice. I think this is how we can grieve well, when we long to take care and hold our son, to remember God’s foundation of righteousness in all that he does as we grieve in a world of sin and death. Somehow, in the death of our son, God will show us a greater picture of his goodness. Somehow, for our good, this is going to make us look more like his Son, Jesus.

God Is Still on Plan A

Ernie has reminded me that God is still on plan A in his plan of redemption. When Haddon died, God was not surprised or needed to start a plan B because something went wrong. 1 and 2 Peter reminded me that all the trials and suffering I will face here will result in praise and glory in the great day of Jesus Christ when he returns again. Haddon’s death has been part of God’s plan from eternity past; nothing is out of his control.

Haddon Is Now Looking Upon the Face of Mercy

There is a sweetness and gentleness of God that I’ve felt in my pain as I cry out to him, as I sit in Haddon’s nursery, and as I read my Bible. The same sweet, gentle, and kind God is the same God who took my boy to safety. He is in a place where he can see the love of God and hear the gospel of Jesus purely without the distractions of a sinful world. When you watch your son breathe his last, you have an overwhelming sense of not being able to control anything. But I don’t have to worry as his mother about his moment of passing from death to life, because he was instantly and safely ushered into the presence of Christ. Haddon was able to look upon the face of mercy and be sick no more.

Haddon Will Rise Again

This same gentle God got us through his burial with an amazing peace. I dreaded seeing his tiny casket, but when the time came the Holy Spirit quickly reminded me he is not there, but only his body, which he suffers in no longer. He reminded me that, just as Jesus rose from the grave, so too will Haddon rise again. The weight of that peace was unlike any peace I’ve experienced in my entire life. I looked around at all the baby graves, which were many, imagining all these babies one day rising to glory. I love hearing myself say it,Haddon will rise again. It’s our hope for our little boy.

Our Eternal Joy Is Yet to Come

My aching heart is learning to believe that being a mother is not my ultimate happiness. I understand, in a way I never did before, that this world is not a place where we will feel eternal joy. When the people of God finally stand before Christ, who took the punishment for their sin, they will feel the fulfilling, eternal joy that they long to feel here on earth. God has not promised those who belong to him a quick and easy road to heaven, but he does get us there, he promises. Until then, he’s assured us he is “near the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

My Greatest Need Is Taken Care Of

Through many tears and days of great sadness, we want people to know that the only reason we feel comfort in our grief is because Jesus has taken the punishment of our sin, has been raised from the dead, and has crushed death. For the Christian, death is not the end. The Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes even calls death “greater than our day of birth” (Ecc. 7:1). For those who do not lean upon Jesus Christ as the great Savior from sin, death is the great entrance to eternal punishment, and their life now is the best they will ever have, because eternity after will be torment. I pray you would know this good news today and trust in Christ, the great conquerer of death.

Lisa Blanco lives in Tucson, Arizona with her husband, Ernie, who is a Bible Teacher at Pusch Ridge Christian Achademy. Lisa enjoys writing in her free time.

Trusting God with Infertility and Miscarriage

Today we have a special message from Lisa Martin. She had a chance to share at a ladies event at her church. She did a beautiful job presenting the hope and security we can find in Christ even in the midst of sorrow, hardship, and trials. I think that this would be helpful for everyone and anyone to listen too. I'm sure it will be a blessing to you and will better equip you to love and comfort those who have experienced the loss of a baby or who are struggling with infertility.

LISTEN HERE

Throughout the message, Lisa shares many wonderful resources. Below you can find links to all of them. I look forward to reading many of them myself!

Right Thinking in a World Gone Wrong by John MacArthur and the Leadership Team at Grace Community Church.

Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts by Jerry Bridges

Grace Grows Best in Winter by Margaret Clarkson

Safe in the Arms of God: Truth from Heaven About the Death of a Child by John MacArthur

The Letter of Samuel Rutherford by Samuel Rutherford

God's Faithful Discipline Sermon by John MacArthur

Girl Talk Blog Posts:

No Grace for "What If?" by Carolyn Mahaney

Tell Your Soul by Nicole Whitacre

Q & A - A Holy Longing by Nicole Whitacre

When Someone Else Gets What We Want by Nicole Whitacre

A Battle Plan for Fighting Envy by Carolyn Mahaney

Pressing On Part 3

Today we have part 3 of Julie's story. If you missed the first two parts you can find part 1 here and part 2 here.

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Six more months passed.

Because no medical reasons had been found for the last two miscarriages, we stepped out in faith again, after much prayer and waiting, to have another baby. Again, the Lord opened my womb and I was pregnant in April.  We made our announcement on our parents’ anniversaries-which both happened to be on June 6. They were excited, but with some hesitation due to the recent loss. It was understandable, as Josh and I had been through the same emotions.  But we really thought everything was going to be fine this time.  What were the chances that we would have another miscarriage? 

Everything was going well throughout the summer. Two of our friends were also expecting around the same time and we were looking forward to having our babies grow up together.  In July, we heard a good strong heartbeat at the doctor’s office.  But that would be the last time.  Within 3 days of that appointment, another life quietly slipped away, unbeknownst to any of us.  It wouldn’t be for another 3 ½ weeks until I went in for another appointment that we would learn this information. After having some cramping, I went in a few days early to see my doctor.  I figured she would tell me to drink a little more water and try to stay off my feet for awhile.  As she began looking for the heartbeat, I heard the same words from 10 months earlier, “Where are you hiding baby?”  I thought, “This is surreal. I feel like I’ve already done this before-Dr. R’s saying the same things, but this can’t be real. It just can’t be happening again.”  Sure enough, within a few more minutes, I was looking at our baby on a large screen, but seeing no movement or heartbeat. I was supposed to be 17 weeks pregnant. 

At that moment, I went into “auto-pilot.”  I had done this before, so I knew what to expect.  This time though, my emotions seemed to be hiding from me.  The tears and sadness were different, more for how others were going to react, rather than for myself.  I tried to praise the Lord, but all I really wanted to do was be alone.  I didn’t understand why we were losing another child, but I was trusting in the Lord for the reason.   We couldn’t even call our parents that day.   We felt numb.  In shock. Depleted.  And I hadn’t even delivered the baby yet.

But God was so good to us during the loss.  On August 10, the day of our 8^th anniversary, I was going to the hospital to have another baby that I wouldn’t get to bring home.  I was so thankful that my doctor was on call, and that the nurses I had come to know were tending to my needs.  Two of our pastors, including Chris Fritz, spent some time with us at the hospital.  The baby came quickly, after about 4 hours of labor.  My doctor stayed past her shift to be there with us.  I had a hunch with this pregnancy that this baby was a boy, and I was right.  We named him Matthew Levi.  He was smaller than Haddie had been and his color was grey.  I wasn’t prepared for that.  I cried for the loss of this baby and the dreams we had for him.  Another baby of ours was now safe in the arms of God.  To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.

I continued to pray, “Lord, what are we supposed to learn from this?  What did we miss the last time around?  Please don’t let us miss the lesson you are trying to teach us.” 

The placenta was delivered 15 hours later, early the next morning. I was so weak from losing a lot of blood.  Somehow, by the grace of God, I was able to make it home that afternoon.  But by the evening, I received a call that told me the ordeal was not over yet. Not all of the placenta had been removed, and I was at risk for continued blood loss or infection. I would still have to have a D & C to remove the rest of the placenta.  At this point, I really began to think that I could not survive a surgery because I was so weak. After a lot of tears, I finally accepted the thought that I might die before the week ended.  And yet, there was a peace in my spirit about that.  I knew that I would be in the presence of the Lord, should He decide it was my time to go.  I knew that my faith was in Christ and His finished work on the cross that took my sins away.  I knew that it was He who gives me eternal life, and I found myself longing to be with my babies who never knew sin. I was ready to go. 

I meditated on the Psalms a lot that week. The Lord helped me to remember that He is my Rock, my Redeemer, my Good Shepherd, my Strong Tower, my Refuge, my very present Help in time of need.  He again provided truth for us to meditate on when things seemed so unclear.

I awoke from surgery and immediately realized I was not in Heaven. God still had a purpose for my life here on Earth.  I would still know the joy of being a wife to Josh and a mother to Lydia and Isaac.   

God was gracious to answer our question, “What are we supposed to learn from this experience?”  In due time, we learned about a genetic blood clotting disorder that I have, called Factor V (five) Leiden.  This was most likely what caused the babies to die-a blood clot that stopped the flow of blood to the baby. In God’s sovereignty, He showed us something that we otherwise would never have known.  He didn’t have to, but we are so thankful that He did. We have closure on the past, and information for the future.  We also realized that our two healthy children were an even bigger miracle, considering that this condition existed through my pregnancies with each of them. 

Looking back, we have seen how God prepared us with our first miscarriage, so early into the pregnancy, to be ready for the second and third miscarriages. We have seen how His hand was moving and guiding us each time to be surrounded by the people who would show us His love and compassion.  We experienced a peace that passes all understanding and strength that comes through Christ to face some of our most difficult challenges as a married couple. We have been blessed with two healthy children that we are striving to raise for the glory of God. We have counted it all joy when we have fallen into these various trials, knowing that our faith has been tested.  We have gotten a new glimpse into the character of God.  And we have been blessed.